Focus on Employees

Helping Your Child Cope with War

In this time of uncertainty over the newly declared war on Iraq, it is important to remember the unique needs of children as they do their best to cope with the realities of our present world. Children have not had the time or experience that adults have had to cope with such situations. It is our responsibility as adults to encourage them to express their fears and carefully respond with sensitivity, acceptance and love.

For children of all ages:

Reassure your child that their feelings are normal and all questions are welcome.
Stay calm in your own reactions to help assure your child that they are safe.
Get involved with your child in activities (games, art projects, music, and drama) that help them sort out and express their own feelings.
Limit media exposure especially to younger children). Schedule some fun activity away from the TV during the news hour to keep them from being over-exposed to the anxiety of war.
Have a family plan with age appropriate instructions to each child as to what to do in an emergency. This should be discussed in a calm and matter-of-fact way so as to not create more anxiety in your child.
Keep a normal family routine and keep talking to each other.

For grade-school age children:

Invite and answer your child’s questions simply and clearly.
Invite your child to talk about their concerns and offer your assurance.
Tell the truth. You don’t have to tell all the truth but make sure you don’t undercut your credibility with your child by lying to them to protect them.
Do not make promises and assurances to your child that you cannot keep. It is OK to say, “I’m sorry, I do not know.”
Assure them that everything is being done to keep them safe.

For middle and high school age youth:

Consider a family discussion time around important news developments to encourage your youth to express their feelings and their views.
Expect questions that may seem “off the wall,” insensitive or self-centered. (For example: It is normal for teens to wonder how war will affect their social life.)
Ask your youth what they are hearing about the war in school from teachers and friends. Get any concerns they might have about the opinions of others.
Help your youth to think through the issues in a clear and rational way.
Affirm your youth’s right to their own feelings and opinions about the war, even if they differ from your own.
Let your youth know you are available not only to talk, but also to listen to their thoughts and opinions.

Important: These are general recommendations and guidelines for educational purposes only and may not apply to your specific situation. If you have any questions or concerns or if you notice anything out of the ordinary in your child’s behavior or anything that interferes with their normal everyday activities, it is important to seek a consultation with a qualified professional.

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	Updated: Jan. 12, 2003