Every week for fourteen years, I’ve been the bearer of life-changing news for people all over King County – I tell them the results of their HIV tests. As a test counselor, it’s my job to take people through the important but often frightening experience of getting tested, learning their HIV status, and taking the next steps in their lives.
Most of the people I test are men who have sex with men or drug users, populations locally at the greatest risk for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. These days, many of my clients say that they could handle it if they were to become HIV positive. They know an HIV diagnosis is no longer a death sentence. Yet, no matter how prepared or nonchalant they are at first, hearing the news that they have HIV is still devastating, and takes time to assimilate.
Witnessing their reactions, I remember being told that my test was positive, and how scared and lost I felt.
Before my diagnosis, my friends and colleagues probably would have voted me least likely to get infected. I hadn’t considered myself to be at high risk, even though I counseled people at risk every day. The news came as a terrible shock. However, a decade later, I’m still here – living proof that it’s better to know your status.
Americans diagnosed with HIV today have a good chance of living a normal lifespan – if they are tested and seek treatment early in the course of their infection. When people I’m counseling test positive, I usually tell them my own HIV status. Seeing me in good health after ten years with the virus can give them hope and jump-start their own search for medical care. Sadly, though, too many people with HIV aren’t diagnosed until the virus has already caused serious damage to their immune systems. Right now, one in four people with HIV doesn’t even know he or she is infected. By the time they find out, it may be too late to fully benefit from the drugs that have kept so many of us healthy.
For people who test positive, learning their status also gives them the power to stop the chain of infection. People sometimes tell me, “I could deal with it if I’m infected, but I couldn’t live with myself if I infected someone else.” My response is that if you learn you’re positive, you can take steps to protect the people you care about. I’m not just preaching at them, because I practice it, too. My partner of four years is HIV negative, and we are both committed to keeping him that way.
Testing and counseling also gives HIV-negative people the power to stay free of the virus. For those whose behavior place them at risk, our brief counseling sessions are important chances to get their attention. I tell them, “When you leave here, you need to have a clear, realistic plan of how you’ll stay negative.” I acknowledge that behavior change is difficult and takes time, especially in the areas of sex and drugs. I also tell them I believe they have the power to make positive changes in their lives. We work together to create a plan that will help them avoid the pain of a positive test result.
Thanks to recent advances, reaching people with HIV testing and counseling has become quicker and easier than ever. For people at highest risk (men who have sex with men, especially those using crystal methamphetamine, IV drug users, and their sex partners) rapid testing is available at some testing sites. Due to budget constraints, rapid testing is only available to those at highest risk. For all others testing, oral fluid testing and standard blood testing are available.
Despite every effort to make the process easier and more accessible, HIV testing can still be a scary experience. But it’s only by taking responsibility for knowing our HIV/STD status that we can protect ourselves and those we love. We are all in this together, and it is important that we be able to honestly address the issues in our varied communities at risk. In the fourteen years I’ve been doing this work I’ve been burnt out many times. Each time I feel I’m ready to throw in the towel, I’ve been lucky to have had random conversations with clients who have said that our work together saved their lives. That’s what keeps me doing this work.
